What is a friend...
A friend is someone I'd do favors for. Someone I'd come visit, someone I'd spend time with and catch up with them when I can't see them. Someone who I'd talk to about important issues to me, music, politics, my classes and subsequent future after classes. I would remember things they enjoy and ask a friend about. Someone I'd go to a bar with, and call back when I missed their call. Someone who'd I'd say happy birthday to and think of something nice to do for them. Someone who I would be supportive in a problem, and pick them up when they get stranded at a bus stop when there isn't another one coming. Someone who I would help move. Someone who I would cook with, someone I would drink with, someone I would bullshit with. A friend is someone I could talk to about my geeky hobbies without feeling like a geek. A friend of mine could count on me for just about anything they need. A friend is someone who I wouldn't ask to pay back $6 for lunch. I have respect for a friend and I would defend them to anyone.
I don't have many friends. There is just a few people who aren't family who know they can count on me for just about anything. But really, that sounds a whole lot like family to me. It's the way I was brought up to treat people, but it's just not how everyone defines a friend and that makes things hard.
I've learned the hard way over and over who and more importantly who isn't really my friend. Realizing that someone you had respect and trust in doesn't hold you in the same importance hurts. I really don't have much use for these people. Fair weather friends I've heard they are called. I don't like that term, I don't feel comfortable enough to call them that. A fair weather friend is someone who is only around when things are good or only when its convenient for them to be around, however you want to see it, to me thats not a friend at all, acquaintance at best. And to be perfectly honest, I don't want to maintain any 'acquaintances'. Yes I understand that you become acquainted with someone before you can become friends, but the way I tend to think of people as "people I've met", "strangers" and "friends." I'd rather not know you than have you be a fair weather friend to me. I'm not demanding that I learn everything about you instantly and expect you to remember everything I say and my opinions on every topic ever discussed but I do expect to be listened to with genuine interest. I know that may seem harsh, but I'm just not interested in sorta-knowing you.
I've been pushed and taken advantage of by people who seem to just take and take from me while being fair weather friends to me and I've reached a line in the sand, an edge. One that I won't cross or be pushed over. I'm doing one of the hardest things in my life right now and that's talking to someone if they want to actually be my friend or if I should just leave it at "I'll see you when I see you" because I'm tired of being left out and blown off by people who I care about.
I don't have many friends. There is just a few people who aren't family who know they can count on me for just about anything. But really, that sounds a whole lot like family to me. It's the way I was brought up to treat people, but it's just not how everyone defines a friend and that makes things hard.
I've learned the hard way over and over who and more importantly who isn't really my friend. Realizing that someone you had respect and trust in doesn't hold you in the same importance hurts. I really don't have much use for these people. Fair weather friends I've heard they are called. I don't like that term, I don't feel comfortable enough to call them that. A fair weather friend is someone who is only around when things are good or only when its convenient for them to be around, however you want to see it, to me thats not a friend at all, acquaintance at best. And to be perfectly honest, I don't want to maintain any 'acquaintances'. Yes I understand that you become acquainted with someone before you can become friends, but the way I tend to think of people as "people I've met", "strangers" and "friends." I'd rather not know you than have you be a fair weather friend to me. I'm not demanding that I learn everything about you instantly and expect you to remember everything I say and my opinions on every topic ever discussed but I do expect to be listened to with genuine interest. I know that may seem harsh, but I'm just not interested in sorta-knowing you.
I've been pushed and taken advantage of by people who seem to just take and take from me while being fair weather friends to me and I've reached a line in the sand, an edge. One that I won't cross or be pushed over. I'm doing one of the hardest things in my life right now and that's talking to someone if they want to actually be my friend or if I should just leave it at "I'll see you when I see you" because I'm tired of being left out and blown off by people who I care about.
posted by Marc at
1:08 AM
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